I've been noticing a trend on dating apps

where guys list 'traveling' as a hobby, but their only photo is from a weekend in Vegas 5 years ago

I saw a guy's dating profile that said he's 'looking for someone to share his love of travel and trying new things'

But his Instagram stories are just 12 consecutive photos of him posing in front of the same airport departures board

I bought a new pair of jeans that actually have real, functional pockets.

I've been carrying my phone, wallet, and keys in them all week, just walking around the house, marveling at the sheer novelty.

I was at the grocery store, dramatically navigating the cereal aisle

when I realized I was narrating my own life in a Morgan Freeman voice, 'And so, she reached for the oatmeal, a choice that would change her day forever'