I saw a guy's dating profile that said he's a 'free spirit' who 'lives in the moment'

But his bio was 500 words long and included a meticulously curated list of his favorite hikes and craft beers

I love how some skincare products claim to be 'anti-aging' as if they're not just delaying the inevitable

I've started to notice that my online shopping habits are being influenced by the 'frequently bought together' section

now I'm convinced I need a scented candle and a romance novel to truly complete my purchase of socks

My main character energy is so intense, when I'm stuck on hold with customer service...

...I rehearse an Oscar-worthy monologue about corporate injustice, complete with dramatic pauses, just in case they decide to pick up mid-soliloquy.