I've been trying to adult by creating a budget and tracking my expenses, but

it turns out I've just been categorizing my anxiety into different spreadsheet columns.

Guys love to put 'fluent in sarcasm' in their dating app bios.

Which I guess is easier than being fluent in, you know, 'replying to texts' or 'asking follow-up questions'.

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said he's a 'free spirit' who 'lives life on his own terms'

But his profile picture was him posing in front of a Mom-approved kitchen backdrop

I spent all of Sunday morning meticulously meal-prepping, labeling containers, feeling like a domestic goddess of wellness.

By Tuesday evening, I was eating lukewarm cheese straight from the block, staring wistfully at those perfectly portioned quinoa bowls.