My new dry shampoo promised to give me 'effortless volume.'

And by 'effortless,' they apparently meant 20 minutes of strategic spraying, head flipping, and frantic finger-combing to achieve that perfect 'just rolled out of bed, but in a cute way' vibe.

I saw a guy's dating profile that said he's 'looking for someone to share his love of travel and trying new things'

But his Instagram stories are just 12 consecutive photos of him posing in front of the same airport departures board

I finally blocked out an hour for 'self-care' last night.

I spent 15 minutes trying to find the right guided meditation on YouTube, 20 minutes wondering if my face mask was expired, and the last 25 minutes stress-cleaning my bathroom before I could relax.

I matched with a guy on a dating app who claimed to be a 'dog dad'

But his photos were all of him holding other people's dogs