I just spent 20 minutes staring blankly at my fridge.

Not because I was hungry, but because I was calculating the optimal day to buy groceries based on expiring coupons, my work schedule, and the lunar cycle.

Some guys on dating apps say they want an 'independent woman.'

What they actually mean is 'a woman who doesn't *need* anything from me, but is always available for me.'

I've started to think that my planner is just a book where I write down all the things I'm pretending to have control over

He had 'Lover of good vibes and positive energy' in his Instagram bio.

His last five stories were screenshots of petty arguments in his group chat.