My boss told me I need to stop coming up short on my deadlines.

I told him, 'At least I'm not the one coming early.'

I've been dating a professional cartographer, and she's been teaching me how to navigate our relationship.

But honestly, I'm still having trouble finding the point of entry.

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.

My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'