What did the stuffing say to the turkey?

You're the breadwinner of this meal, but I'm the one holding everything together!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

Why did the head chef get a little nervous carving the Thanksgiving turkey this year?

He was afraid he'd just wing it.

My family always begins Thanksgiving dinner with a moment of silent gratitude.

It's usually followed by a not-so-silent debate about who's grateful enough to do the dishes.