My boss told us 'we're a family here,'

which is why I'm always guilt-tripped into doing extra work and can never afford to move out.

I'm trying to buy a house, but the market is crazy

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that's less than my student loan

I finally finished my masterpiece.

It's a spreadsheet tracking all my subscription services.

My parents told me to 'just pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

My boots are from Target and the straps broke two months ago.