I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!

I was trying to brew a new type of coffee this morning, experimenting with different grind sizes and water temperatures. I really wanted to get that perfect cup.

But no matter what I did, I just couldn't espresso myself properly.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!