I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

So I was at the museum with my kids, and we saw an exhibit on ancient Egypt. The kids were fascinated by the mummies and the pyramids, and we started learning about pharaohs and their tombs. I asked the tour guide if they had found any interesting artifacts recently

and he said they had uncovered a lot of old 'wrap'!