What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

I went to the bakery and saw a pie with a face on it

It was a pie-oneer in facial recognition

Why did the clock get sent to the principal's office?

Because it kept tocking too much!

I tried to start a career as a beekeeper, but it wasn't going well.

I guess you could say I didn't bee suited for the job.