I've been doing the work in therapy to recognize my unhealthy patterns

Now I can identify all the ways I'm sabotaging my relationships, but that doesn't mean I've stopped doing them

My boss told me to 'manifest a positive outcome'

when I asked for a raise.

My idea of 'investing in real estate' is now just buying a really nice tent.

I love how our company says 'we're a family here'

except when it's performance review time and suddenly I'm a foster kid up for adoption