Alright everyone, as I prepare to carve this magnificent turkey, I just want to remind you...

I'm the *meat-er* of ceremonies around here!

My family's post-Thanksgiving dinner tradition isn't board games or Black Friday planning.

It's a synchronized, involuntary nap on every available soft surface.

In my family, we have a special Thanksgiving tradition

Where we all pretend to like each other for one day, and then immediately start arguing over who gets to control the TV remote

Why did the turkey join the band?

Because he was a drumstick!