I'm really trying to plan for the future.

My long-term plan is just to survive long enough to see the next season of whatever I'm binging.

I love how our company says 'we're a family here'

except when it's performance review time and suddenly I'm a foster kid up for adoption

My mom keeps telling me to 'just buy a starter home.'

I told her the only starter home I can afford is the one in Monopoly.

I'm so deep into side hustles,

my main job is starting to feel like a really intense hobby.