I asked my boomer dad for advice on buying a house

He said 'just work harder and cut back on avocado toast', I said 'dad, I'm a freelance writer, my only income is from avocado toast reviews'

I just got a raise, but it's all relative

because now I can afford ramen noodles twice a week instead of once

I've been trying to practice mindfulness in therapy

but I keep finding myself pondering existential dread during meditation instead of my breath

I told my therapist I understand all my unhealthy patterns now.

She asked what I plan to do, and I said, 'Probably just keep understanding them.'