My dad spent all Father's Day hovering over the grill, proclaiming himself the master chef.

When I complimented his perfectly cooked burgers, he just puffed out his chest and said, "Thanks, I always strive for *grill-iant* results!"

My dad said he didn't need a thing for Father's Day this year.

But then he added, 'Unless you happen to know where my *other* tape measure is. The good one.'

When I was a kid, I asked my dad if he believed in superheroes.

He just looked at me, grunted, and said, 'Only the ones who change tires, conquer spreadsheets, and occasionally grill a perfect burger.' Then he ruffled my hair, and for a second, I thought I saw his cape.

My dad's garage is so well-organized, he can find anything in it

except his social life