I've been trying to adult by following boomer advice

But it turns out 'investing in myself' just means I'm $50,000 in debt with a degree and a Peloton

I finally achieved financial stability.

Now I can afford the premium subscription to my anxiety app.

I asked my boomer dad for advice on buying a house

He said 'just work harder and cut back on avocado toast', I said 'dad, I'm a freelance writer, my only income is from avocado toast reviews'

My therapist said I need to validate my own emotions.

So my emotions validated that I needed another nap.