My girlfriend told me she loves our road trips.

She says she really enjoys the way the engine vibrates between her legs after a long, hot ride.

My new barber asked me how I wanted my head.

I told him I like it when he really works it over and leaves it feeling good.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more aggressive in bed, to really dominate her and make her feel things she'd never felt before.

I said, 'Honey, I'm flattered, but I'm a lover, not a chiropractor!'

My wife told me she needed me to help her 'get off' after a long day.

So I drove her straight to the airport.