I went on a date with a guy who claimed to be a 'feminist'

but his podcast playlist was just 12 hours of Joe Rogan

I've started to notice that my online shopping habits are being influenced by the 'frequently bought together' section

now I'm convinced I need a scented candle and a romance novel to truly complete my purchase of socks

My last breakup was a real cinematic masterpiece.

I had the dramatic monologue, the slow-motion walk away, and even waited for the rain. But then my ex yelled, 'You forgot your reusable water bottle!' and completely ruined the mood.

I was running errands yesterday and I decided to give my day a cinematic score

Now every time I'm at the DMV, I'm the heroine of a sci-fi epic, and the hold music is just the sound of my spaceship hovering over the planet Bureaucracy