He spent 20 minutes on our first date explaining the basics of my own job to me.

I just smiled and nodded, because apparently, listening is 'attractive' when *I* do it.

I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

He told me he’s 'so over' all the superficiality and fake stuff on social media.

His last Instagram post was a picture of him holding a single coffee mug, staring contemplatively out a window, with the caption '#deepthoughts #morningvibes #unfiltered.'

I've been swiping through dating apps, and I've noticed a pattern

Every guy is a 'serial entrepreneur' with a 'thriving business' – which is just code for 'I'm unemployed and play a lot of video games'