So I was visiting my friend who's a master carpenter, and he showed me his latest woodworking project - a beautiful wooden boat. He spent months crafting every detail, from the hull to the sail. As I was admiring his work, I asked him how he planned to propel it through the water.

He just smiled and said it was a 'shore' thing.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

I'm a baker and I'm feeling crumby today

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing!