I've got three side hustles just to afford my main job's commute.

My bank told me I qualify for a mortgage.

I laughed so hard my avocado toast fell.

I asked my parents for housing advice, and they said to just 'save up' and 'be patient'

which is easy to say when your mortgage is paid off and avocado toast was 50 cents

I've been reading all these self-help books to improve my mental health

now my apartment is just a pile of unread books and unfulfilled potential