My therapist asked me what my biggest fantasy was.

I told her: a 40-hour work week.

I love how our company says 'we're a family here'

except when it's performance review time and suddenly I'm a foster kid up for adoption

I just got a raise, but it's all going to inflation

so basically I'm just getting paid in nostalgia for the prices of 2019

I've been trying to save up for a down payment on a house

but at this rate, I'll be able to afford a mortgage when I'm eligible for a senior discount