He had 'Lover of good vibes and positive energy' in his Instagram bio.

His last five stories were screenshots of petty arguments in his group chat.

I tried to channel my inner 'wellness guru' this morning and started my day with a green smoothie and 15 minutes of journaling.

Then I spent the next hour frantically searching for my car keys, only to find them in the fridge next to the kale.

I took my car in for a routine oil change, but in my mind, it was a pivotal scene in my biopic

So, I monologued to the mechanic about the symbolism of dirty oil and the struggle for personal growth, and now I'm pretty sure he's rooting for me to win an Oscar

I tried to do that 'messy bun' look this morning, you know, the one that's supposed to be casual and chic.

After three failed attempts, a whole lot of hairspray, and an arm cramp, I just gave up and wore a hat. That's my version of effortless.