I'm addicted to placebos — I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

So I was at the library the other day, and I saw a book about eggs that really caught my eye. The cover was pretty ordinary, but the title was what really made me crack a smile.

It was an egg-cellent read.

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring today.

I feel like I've dyed a little inside.