I've been dating a botanist, and she's been teaching me about the art of cultivation.

Apparently, I've been nurturing a weed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to try something new, something 'really deep and meaningful' in our relationship.

So I spent an hour trying to figure out if she meant anal or missionary.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

Now I can finally score without getting caught off guard.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented cryptologist, and she's always trying to get me to crack her code.

But honestly, I think she's just looking for someone to decrypt her daddy issues.