I've been dating a girl who's a professional librarian, and she's always trying to get me to check out her catalog and see if we have a good connection.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional audiologist, and she's always trying to help me find my frequency.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to tune me out in bed.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'