I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

Now I'm much better at getting things wet and spinning them into shape.

I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to bill me by the hour.

My friend, who's a master woodworker, told me the key to a really strong joint...

He said you have to get it perfectly aligned, drive it in deep, and apply plenty of pressure for a solid finish.