I've been dating a girl who's a talented baker, and she's always trying to get me to rise to the occasion.

But honestly, I think she's just kneading the attention.

My neighbor came over late last night, looking desperate. She said she was all wet, things were tight, and she needed a big, strong man to come over and help her work it until it was firmly in place.

Turns out her new garden hose was jammed in the spigot and she couldn't attach it.

My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

She says it shows I'm really committed to tying the knot.

My rock climbing instructor told me I needed to improve my grip.

I told him, 'Funny, my girlfriend always tells me I've got a fantastic grip.'