I've been trying to buy a house in my area

But the only thing I can afford is a strong opinion about gentrification.

I asked my boomer parents for housing advice

They told me to 'just stop eating avocado toast', like that's the down payment on a McMansion

I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails

and they said 'but then you'd miss out on the synergy and collaboration... and also your paycheck'