I was trying to thread a needle, but the eye was just too small.

My grandma just winked and said, "Sometimes, honey, you just gotta lick it to get it in."

My wife told me she was having a lot of trouble with her new recipe. She said she was trying to get something big and firm to really swell up, but it just kept getting soft and refusing to rise.

She was making soufflé for the first time.

My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

She says it shows I'm really committed to tying the knot.

My financial advisor told me I need to be more aggressive with my assets...

...and diversify my portfolio by spreading it around.