I've been taking sailing lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me how to navigate through tight spots, avoid getting tangled up, and make the most of every stroke.

Now I'm hooked on her techniques.

My girlfriend told me she wanted something for her birthday that she could ride all night long.

So I went out and bought her a Peloton.

My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

My wife was complaining about our plumbing last night. She said something about needing a man who could really handle a pipe, get deep down, and know how to screw things tight to stop the leaking.

So I called a plumber, and he'll be here Monday.