What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

The tents were intense.

So I was trying to fix a squeaky door hinge in the house today, and my son came over to watch. He asked me why the door was making such a loud noise every time I opened it.

I told him it was because the door was feeling unhinged!

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.