I turned my morning commute into a cinematic experience, complete with a soundtrack and an imaginary film crew

Now I'm just waiting for the Oscar nomination for 'Best Performance While Sitting in Traffic'

My friend just got new bangs and asked me if they made her look younger.

I took a deep breath, calculated the optimal response time between 'immediate enthusiastic lie' and 'brutal honesty that ends a friendship,' and finally said, 'They definitely... *frame your face*!'

I saw a guy's dating profile that said he's a 'free spirit' who 'lives in the moment'

But his bio was 500 words long and included a meticulously curated list of his favorite hikes and craft beers

I've started using a mindfulness app to help me stay focused throughout the day

Now I'm just mindfully aware of how much I'm procrastinating