Some people spend Valentine's Day searching for their soulmate.

I'm just trying to decide if my soulmate is the pizza delivery guy or the remote control.

Are you a bouquet of flowers?

Because you take my breath away... and also make me sneeze uncontrollably.

Why did the chocolate chip cookie go on a date?

Because it was looking for a sweet relationship

Are you a Valentine's Day parking ticket?

Because you've got 'fine' written all over you, and I really should have paid attention to the two-hour limit.