My favorite thing about Valentine's Day is actually the day after.

That's when all the good chocolate goes 50% off. It's like Christmas, but for cynics.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

I've been practicing my Valentine's Day skills

by lovingly cooking a solo meal, and then arguing with myself over who left the dishes in the sink

I told my friend I was planning a romantic Valentine's Day dinner

for one, with a movie, a pizza, and a strongly worded letter to my fridge for being empty