What's Cupid's favorite kind of exercise?

Arrow-bics!

I'm starting to think Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people will willingly pay triple for flowers and dinner

Are you a Valentine's Day coupon?

Because you're a discount on my loneliness and I want to redeem you

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty romantic, actually.

It involves me, a blanket, and a very serious, committed relationship with my takeout menu.