Are you a candy store?

Because I'm getting a sugar rush just looking at you... and I really shouldn't be eating this much before dinner.

Do you have a map?

Because I keep getting lost in your eyes... and now I'm aimlessly wandering through the Valentine's Day candy aisle.

My ideal Valentine's Day date involves candlelight and soft music...

...which is just me eating pizza in the dark so I don't have to share, and my neighbors are playing their bass too loud.

Why did the rose go to the florist on Valentine's Day?

Because it wanted to get to the root of its love life!