My wife told me she prefers it when I go down on one knee.

She says it shows I'm really committed to tying the knot.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional audiologist, and she's always trying to help me find my frequency.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to tune me out in bed.

I've been taking private lessons from a skilled arborist, and she's been teaching me how to prune with precision, really get to the root of the problem, and help me branch out in new ways.

Now I'm able to penetrate even the densest foliage.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional seamstress, and she's been teaching me about the art of piercing, stitching, and threading.

Now I can finally mend our torn relationship.