Why did Cupid's arrow go to therapy?

Because it had a lot of 'pointed' issues to work through.

Is your dad a baker?

Because you're a cutie pie... and I was hoping he had some leftovers for Valentine's Day!

I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty elaborate.

First, I'm making dinner for two. Then I'm eating both servings.