I'm starting to think that Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people we can convince to pay triple for flowers and dinner

Why did the coffee file a police report on Valentine's Day?

Because it got mugged by love

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day history

It's a real page-turner, mainly because it's empty

Are you a box of Valentine's chocolates?

Because I can't wait to unwrap you... and then I'm probably just going to eat all the good ones first.