Are you a time traveler?

Because I see you in my future... helping me renew my driver's license at the DMV.

I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

What did the romantic baker say to their sweetheart on Valentine's Day?

I knead you in my life!

Do you have a watch?

Because I want to know how long it took for you to steal my heart... and also if the Valentine's candy sale has started yet.