My boomer parents told me to 'stop buying avocado toast.'

As if that $12 is the only thing standing between me and a down payment.

My therapist recommended journaling to process my emotions.

So I started a bullet journal dedicated entirely to why I hate journaling.

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails, and they said

it's about 'being present' and 'synergy' – code for 'I don't trust you to actually read the email'.

I've been reading all these self-help books to improve my mental health

now my apartment is just a pile of unread books and unfulfilled potential