I've started to think that my planner is just a book where I write down all the things I'm pretending to have control over

I'm trying to be more spontaneous in my dating life.

Last week, I spent three hours spontaneously overthinking whether I should text him back immediately or wait a strategic 23 minutes.

I was at the grocery store, dramatically tossing items into my cart, when I caught myself

narrating my own shopping experience in a voiceover, 'She reaches for the organic quinoa, a symbol of her defiance against the mundane.'

I saw a guy's dating profile where he described himself as 'low-key' and looking for 'good vibes only.'

Which I've learned is code for 'I bring absolutely nothing to the table, and I will never acknowledge your feelings.'