I saw a guy's dating profile that said he was looking for someone 'natural' and 'low-maintenance.'

And I thought, 'Oh, great. So I'll just skip the *full* eleven-step skincare routine tonight and only do seven.'

My ex told me he wanted a woman who was 'independent and strong,' someone who 'didn't need a man to take care of her.'

Turns out, he just meant he wanted someone who'd pay for her own dates and never ask him to move a heavy box.

I've started to think that my planner is just a book where I write down all the things I'm pretending to have control over

He said he was looking for a woman with her own ambitions, her own life, someone who 'doesn't need constant attention.'

Then he called me 'busy' because I didn't immediately respond to his 'hey' at 11:30 AM on a workday.