Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a math problem

You've got too many variables, and somehow everyone ends up feeling divided.

My family's Thanksgiving dinner is the one place where

the only thing we pass around the table more often than the mashed potatoes is criticism.

I love how my family's Thanksgiving dinner is a time for everyone to come together

and silently judge each other's life choices

I told the turkey to come to the table with an attitude adjustment

but it was a little fowl-tempered