My girlfriend told me she wanted to 'get to the bottom of things' in our relationship.

So I spent the entire night perfecting my rim job technique.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented cryptologist, and she's always trying to get me to crack her code.

But honestly, I think she's just looking for someone to decrypt her daddy issues.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's very particular about our love life.

She's always checking me out, but never returns me on time.

My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'