I got my dad a smart thermostat for Father's Day, thinking it would put an end to our ongoing temperature wars.

Now he just remotely adjusts the temperature from his phone and sends me a text that says, 'You're welcome, I've optimized the climate.'

My dad's garage is so well-organized, he can find anything in it

except his social life

My dad spent all Father's Day hovering over the grill, proclaiming himself the master chef.

When I complimented his perfectly cooked burgers, he just puffed out his chest and said, "Thanks, I always strive for *grill-iant* results!"

For Father's Day, I tried to make my dad a fancy breakfast in bed to show my appreciation.

He just looked at it and said, "Hi fancy breakfast, I'm Dad."