Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

The tents were intense.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

My computer was acting up the other day, and I was getting pretty frustrated with how slow it was running. I called my friend who's a computer expert to see if he could help me figure out what was wrong with it.

He told me it was probably just having a bad byte.

I told my wife she was going to start a tree-mendous gardening career

but she just wanted to branch out and try something new