My boomer neighbor told me to 'invest in real estate.'

So I bought three new houseplants.

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails

and they said 'but then you'd miss out on the synergy and collaboration... and also your paycheck'

My therapist identified my attachment style as 'anxious-preoccupied.'

Which perfectly explains why I keep checking if my DoorDash order is still 5 minutes away.

I finally finished my masterpiece.

It's a spreadsheet tracking all my subscription services.