I've been trying to adult by following boomer advice,

but it turns out 'just start a garden' doesn't actually pay my rent.

My company says 'we're a family here.'

Which explains why I'm emotionally exhausted and constantly planning my escape.

I'm so deep into side hustles,

my main job is starting to feel like a really intense hobby.

My side hustle spreadsheet

has more rows than my actual monthly budget.