What's Kevin McCallister's favorite Christmas carol?

All I Want For Christmas Is My House To Be Empty!

Why did Santa's elves start a union at the North Pole?

Because they wanted to clause for better working conditions!

What do you call a broken candy cane?

A mint-ake!

Why did Santa hire a quality control expert for his Naughty or Nice list?

He wanted to ensure there were no claus for concern.