Alright, folks, before I start carving this magnificent bird, I just want to say...

This turkey is really *fowl-play*ing with my emotions!

I've been thinking, what did the grape say when it got invited to Thanksgiving dinner?

Nothing, it just let it wine down and join the family

I love how my family's Thanksgiving dinner is supposed to be a time for catching up, but it always ends up being a competition

to see who can fall asleep at the table the fastest

Thanksgiving dinner at my house is a real test of endurance

because we don't just eat until we're full, we eat until we're separated by paramedics