My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to 'take her breath away' in bed.

I said, 'Honey, I thought we agreed we were done with the chokeholds.'

My new barber asked me how I wanted my head.

I told him I like it when he really works it over and leaves it feeling good.

I just had the worst oral sex of my life.

My dentist said I need to floss more.