Why did the man bring a compass on his date?

He wanted to take their relationship in a new direction.

My girlfriend told me she likes it when I take charge in the bedroom.

So I handed her the remote.

I just had the worst oral sex of my life.

My dentist said I need to floss more.

My girlfriend got mad at me because I can never remember where I put my keys, but I always know exactly where she keeps her vibrator.

I told her, 'Honey, one offers the remote possibility of getting me out of the house, the other offers some friendly competition.'